Monday, April 18, 2011

The Weekend and The Argument

Since my move out on April 1, I have been trying to stay away from Cole. It really feels so much better for me when I don't have to see him or hear about how or what he is doing. It's hard when you have kids, because I know when he is calling my kids...and I try to block it out and go in another room. Just hearing that ring tone on my daughters cell phone can be a buzzkill for me.

Even though in a perfect world, I would like Cole back and for him to come crawling begging for forgiveness and to come back home and change, want counseling etc. I really don't think that is going to happen. I hold out somewhat though. I still think that the person he is now, is someone I don't know. There is someone who has been supporting me through some of this and who actually would be THE perfect husband/family man...and pretty much everything I want. We'll call him Rob. I am not using Rob...I do like talking to him...some days he sets me straight and back on the right road. He knows all about what is going on with Cole and I. Rob and I have not dated, nor have we been together intimately. I believe there was a quick kiss way back in Sept...when I was deeply hurt and confused by what is going on with Cole...I think at the time I was trying to sweep my feelings under a rug and not think about my life. Rob and I do not live in the same state. Some days I think that is really good, because I probably would be in my own affair...but other days I think that I would never do that until I am absolutely 100% done with Cole. Rob is single...there is no wife/girlfriend etc...

Anyway..Rob keeps asking me if he can come visit me...I said yes and then changed my mind and made up a story that Cole wasn't able to keep the kids this weekend. BUT...I made Cole think that I needed him to stay with the kids all weekend because Rob was coming into town. On Friday night, Cole did keep the kids at our home...while I stayed in my apartment. I didn't tell Cole that Rob really wasn't coming, I wanted him to think that I was busy with a new man. I heard absolutely nothing from Cole or kids all night Friday night. I got up Saturday morning and went to work all day. To be continued...


  1. It seems as though Cole is living his life and you are still caught up! Do not further cause yourself pain hoping for something that isnt there. If Rob wants to enjoy your time let him! You deserve to be happy and seemingly everyone is around you. Dont wait for Cole....

  2. I never did connect with Rob...I have to update my blog. I haven't moved on completely, but I have found someone who makes me smile and I am able to get away from the hurt and pain Cole has caused.