The 180 Continues......

Wow, so after he left Sunday evening, he didn't even call when he reached his destination. Sigh. Why did I think he had changed.. I don't know...I thought he had come to his senses. Maybe I am like an addiction for him or some sort of conquest. He came here, got his fix and now he is okay again? Now he can go days without talking to me or if he does text me or call me, there is no mention of our weekend together and the conversation is not playful or sweet like it was the week prior. I know I didn't do anything to turn him off, he was quite turned on. Remember he said he loved me during sex, twice.  I don't get this man, at all!!! It's now Tuesday night, it's almost 10:30 pm and he has not texted me ONCE today. Exactly one week ago, we must have texted each other over 200+ text messages that day. Is he waiting for me to do something? I won't...I'm not. Everything I read in books and online say, DO NOT CHASE HIM!!! Do NOT let him know you want him. It's a game and I hate this fucking game. This stupid game leaves me feeling like crap!!!! Jolene can have him. He is not worth this agony. Gosh I feel like I am in flipping high school. I am 44 almost 45 years old and I am being treated like I am 16 with this man! Not only that I have been with him 17 years!!! Not 2 weeks, or 2 months. I don't get it. But I am not calling him. I am really good at that part. I just go to bed, and will think it over and over and over in my mind until I fall asleep...but my fingers won't dial. I am really good and not drunk dialing either, which is a good thing...because needy is not pretty. I wish I would just find someone else. I know this would be over in a second!!!