Thursday, June 28, 2012

And now we are back to not speaking....again!

It is amazing how fast time flies...I really need to blog more often because it helps tremendously in getting all of my thoughts out.  So quick update since last blog post. Shortly after that post, things did seem to change some. Cole flew out of town to his next "big work project"...1000+ miles away from me and the kids. I started to get texts in the morning saying "Good Morning! Hope you have a great day!! And then each evening, "Sweet Dreams, Good Night!"  So I started replying back to him, "You too!" etc. Then we started sending these stupid little animations that I had found on the App Store. Basically you find the animation you want and then you copy and paste it into your text. Some of them are pretty cute. Well Cole was having a "HeyDey" with them and I would get 3-4 or more a day. I actually kind of enjoyed seeing which ones he would come up with.  We didn't talk about Jolene. His stuff was back in my closet and that was a start for me.

Some of the stuff he brought home was in a Rubbermaid bin. While Cole was over at Jolene's and the kids were at school, I decided to go through some of those bins. In one of them I found 7+ greeting cards from Jolene. They ranged from Happy Birthday Honey, to Merry Christmas Sweetheart...Happy Anniversary, and your typical..."I Love You Because...."  (BARF)....My eye instantly went to our big ol' heavy duty shredder machine. I sat next to that shredder and sent every one of those stupid cards through that shredder. I read every single word she wrote before I sent HER through that shredder. Call  me crazy...but it felt damn good. He still doesn't know that I have done this. I doubt he will even miss those cards. Cole is not a card person. When we first met I used to send the little LOVE cards too...but I quickly found out that he wasn't that into them (or maybe he just wasn't that into me) at any rate...he did not reciprocate any cards back to me..nor did he seem to get all warm and fuzzy because he received one from me.

So anyway...back to the whole texting flirtation thing going on. I have to admit...it felt good to finally be getting some attention from Cole. About 3 weeks had gone by...and on one of those nights of sending out our random cutesie poo texts...he didn't respond to a "sweet dreams" one that I had sent. I thought it was kind of strange because he usually replied pretty quickly...and if not quickly...then at least within 30 minutes. I then tried calling him and no answer. Again, I was was kind of confused but it finally started to dawn on me...Jolene had flown to see him and she was there. Wow...I was starting to feel like the other woman....and I will be damned if I am anyone's "other woman."  Before I jumped to conclusions, I decided to wait and see if he would bother to send me a goodnight text...and sure enough he finally did about an hour later. I grabbed my cell and called him again. I figured that this time, he will answer because he just now sent me that text. He didn't answer. I instantly started to feel like CRAP.  I send out another text, "IS someone there with you right now?"...and he didn't reply right away....but he then texted back, "Yes, someone flew in and is here now". I then went OFF on him. I told him to fuck off...and to leave me alone and that we are never going to work it out and that I was done. He never replied after that. I don't know what I was expecting. I guess I expected Cole to tell her NO when she wanted to fly in to see him there. But he didn't, and he allowed her to come.

Since then we haven't really spoken to each other anymore. I have pretty much decided that I am not playing anymore stupid silly games with Cole. It's been a rough road for me. It has been hard for me to let go...but I have to. It's not getting me anywhere and all I am doing is getting older and I'm miserable. Cole instantly tells our kids that "mom is mad at me....again."  I don't get why he feels the need to tell our kids that I am mad at him....I guess he is trying to make himself look like the victim as usual.


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